


Beauty and Brains

by Ursula



Category: White Collar
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-31
Updated: 2010-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-06 21:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written before Giglet's story</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty and Brains

Title: Beauty and Brains

 

Author: Ursula  
Rating: rating: R for secret rating  
Genre and/or Pairing: Neal Caffrey and Peter and Elizabeth Burke  
Notes:   
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: No warning  
Word Count:   
Summary: Peter Burke likes smart, but he loves brains.

Beauty and Brains

 

The plague spread quickly. There was no time to flee, but Elizabeth watched her men board up their home and felt sure they would be okay. The zombies would not get in and someone would find a cure, please god; all would be fine and go back to normal.

However, after two days the power grid failed and there was no way to cook anything in her all electric home. Even the fire place wasn't real, a charming façade to make the room seem warmer. They had eaten everything that didn't need to be cooked, including each other but, well, that was stress relief.

Peter should have left Neal behind. He was hopeless with guns and Elizabeth honestly did not think he was going to have a lot of luck with that hatchet Peter gave him. Elizabeth gripped her axe and was determined to kill…can you kill zombies since they are already dead?

Peering out the window upstairs, Elizabeth screamed as she saw Neal running toward the house with Peter close on his heels. She ran down to open the door to help her men get inside. Neal stumbled and now Elizabeth saw that Peter was not himself, not himself at all. His face was green, his mouth was drooling blood and slime. Peter shambled with no trace of his usual power and grace, but he was still moving too fast.

"Close the door, Elizabeth, never mind me," Neal shouted, getting up to run again. Peter lunged for him, grabbing him.

As Elizabeth watched, frozen in horror, Peter snatched up Neal's wonderful, beloved hat and with it, the top half of his skull. Peter was mumbling something over and over with lips grown lax and unable to communicate clearly. (He sounded the way he did during Super Bowl when his team was winning and Elizabeth tried to ask him something.) Finally using lip reading skills that Elizabeth didn't know she had, she discerned, "You know how I love brains. Brains. Brains. BRAINS! More brains!!"

Peter was scooping Neal's brains out of his skull, dropping bits of grey matter down his shirt and that would be one hell of a job to get out, thank you very, much, Peter Burke, as if the cum stains were not challenge enough to remove.

Poor Neal, still alive and partially conscious, played a shell game with the top of his skull and his hat, shuffling a gold coin between them as Peter devoured that brilliant mind. The horror, the pity, and he wasn't even doing a good job of hiding his tricks.

Although she knew it was too late to save Neal, Elizabeth rushed in anyway. She raised her axe and struck her beloved husband over and over.

She didn't know that zombies could yell ouch so clearly.

Elizabeth felt her arms grabbed, but very gently. The ground beneath her became very soft and Peter really looked yummy for a dead guy. Her eyes gazed about her bedroom. She stopped hitting her husband and sagged back into Neal's arms as he was the one holding her. She was in her own bed with her own husband and their very dear lover. No one was dead.

Peter rubbed his arm and said, "Hon, we have to talk about your suppressed aggression."

Elizabeth hit him again. "Peter, if you ever, ever say again that you love beauty and brains, I will personally wash your mouth out with soap."

"What?" Peter asked, looking very put upon.

"You can say you like smart, but never that you love brains."

"Oh, I get it," Neal said. "You know when you worked late last night?"

"Yes, I let you stay home for once," Peter said.

"Elizabeth and I watched Return of the Living Dead last night."

"Oh, good god," Peter said, "I thought I told you. Do not, never, under any circumstances allow Elizabeth to watch horror pictures, not even funny ones."

"And then we watched Hannibal."

"I'm going to cut the cable," Peter threatened.

Peter's glare was duly noted by his beloveds.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" Neal asked.

At Peter's nod, Neal knelt.

His kiss was no where near where Elizabeth had struck her husband, but Peter did not seem to mind.

Elizabeth stealthily started the web cam.

After all, without cable, she really would need something to watch.

The end


End file.
